Caste-rated

Politicians have acquired the uncanny ability to hit where it hurts. Punches and jabs below the belt are the norm. When Mr. Arjun Singh proclaimed to grant an almost 50 percent reservations in the IIMs, IITs and the other premier institutions, there were definitely a few gasps and boos in the crowd. But I stuck on to him and gave him some credit.. ( the italian ass-licker that he is).. and analyzed the situation from a different angle.. (ofcourse, even well fed dobermans are not this loyal nowadays)

Which numbskull would treat reservation as someones birth-right.. and a man of Arjun Singh's genious ?.... Nah. Something was out of place..It just did not make sense. I got thinking. For about 5 hours, nothing occured to me... and after a few shots of Seinfeld, Southpark and Jose Cuervo..I fell asleep with the booze in my hand.. and the lappy on my face. Just then, like a bolt of ligthning, it struck me. ...

HENPECKING!... .. yes, yes, HENPECKING!!...I analyzed this for a while... and voila, it made sense... and the various pieces of the puzzle suddenly started falling in place...

Let me tell you how it must have gone..

The previous night, when Arjun (lets shed the last name for a while.. as it is too much to type;) came home... Madam (ofcourse, that is what he must be calling his better half) was waiting at the doorstep with a broom-stick. With the saari tightly tucked at her waist, and the lips glossed all over with her favourite "masala paan", she gazed with red eyes on her poor ol hubby. Our dear Arjun was caught unawares.. and before he could take any evasive action... BAM!... the broom landed twice.. once on his head.. and the next on his crotch.. Poor Arjun was breathless and could not comprehend this, well, not-so-unexpected turn of events...

[
This is how it had been for the past 35 years... Whenever he forgot to milk the cow in the morning.. or fetch the newspaper... he got a "jhaadu-ki-jhappi" in the evening... but today it was more serious.. crotchi-fication...
This had never happened before... never.
Arjun's brain started to immediately calculate the probable causes...

Clean the toilet - DONE
Mop the Floor - DONE
Make dung-cakes in the stable - DONE
Vegetable Shopping - F@#$ing Shit!!

Arjun knew that Madam loved to eat. (How else would anyone gain 250 pounds 10 years!) What he had done was unpardonable.. and he quietly succumbed to what his nemesis had in store for him.
]

Madam said
"Kyon budhau? Sabjzee bhool gaye tum".. "Fokat ka khane ki aadat padh gayi hai tumko".. "Aaj se tumhara raashan paani band".. "Kal yaad se jo kaha tha lete aana..... nahin to......."

And then...madam went to bed making sure that the door bangs right into Arjun's face... and poor ol Arjun slept on the verandah .. ( as he had done the previous night.. and the previous.. and the previous.. and ... well what the heck...now he had started liking the smell of the sand outside)

The next day.. he got up.. did all his chores and made a mental note to get the job done today...The pressure was too much to handle that day. Last night was a narrow escape from permanent celibacy by forced castration. All sorts of numbers started floating in his head... Tomatoes - 4.95 Rs per kg... Onions.. 10 Rs per kg..... In the middle of this number crunching, he blurted out......"There will be 49.5 percent caste based reservation in these institutes going forward"...

Obviously, there was only one thought on in his mind -

"What did madam ask me to get from the sabzi-mandi?"
"Was it 10 kg baingan or 10 kg tomatoes?"
"Darn, I am going to loose my lungi tonight ( ofcourse wiping the floor)"

Amid these thoughts, he must have blurted out 49.5 instead of 22 odd percent.

Now, this leads one onto another train of thought. Why exactly 49.5? why not 100 or 75 or 0 for that matter?

After some furious head-n-butt scrathing, I had to revert to the eGods for the answer - Google and Wikipedia. After some serious ePrayers, i stumbled upon the answer - BANANAS !!.


49.5 was the price of 10 dozen bananas that day.

...and hell yeah.... THE PEP is back !!